Game of Thrones: Kissed by Fire Recap

The shadows come to play, the shadows come to dance, my love, the shadows come to stay.

The most depressing finale from the Vikings has been balmed with the best episode ever from Game of Thrones. Ok, so I think it holds a tie with last week’s awesome episode, but this one had way more feels than I expected. Beware there are some very strong feelings coming in this recap, some very strong fangirl feelings. I’ve been made fun of for having these feelings before, and if you don’t like spoilery squee moments, don’t read this. Also warning, some explicit language is used in this recap!

Well, the Lord of the Light has some major legitimancy. Like, what have The Seven done in this story? Nothing. The Lord of Light brought Beric back from the grave. Gave Melisandre a creepy assassin shadow baby. Anyways, in some cave, the Hound is about to battle Beric, and it’s all cool with Sandy until Beric tosses out his flaming sword. Yeah, you know what, I’m a huge fan of the Hound, I really love him, and I also love the Brotherhood, but this flaming sword business? Nope. Not only did Gregor shove his baby brother’s face into some fire when he was a kid thereby inflicting some major damage and fears in him, but they’re going to fight with the flaming sword now? I guess it’s really the only fair way to fight the Hound since he’s basically a beast.

Yes, hold Beric, Thoros. Hold him.

Yes, hold Beric, Thoros. Hold him.

Anyways, Beric manages to get the upper hand a couple times, but of course the Hound wins and is set free. Arya is furious, going so far as to grab a dagger and go for his throat, but Gendry stops her and keeps her from actually killing him. With Beric defeated, but brought back to life, the Hound is set free and on his way. Arya, still angry, finds out that Gendry is staying with the Brotherhood. Setting aside my feelings and hopes about Gendry and Arya being lovers when they grow up, this just means Arya will have more time to stew in her own anger, and we all know that’s not healthy. Also can we just talk about the fanfic potential of that scene? Yes, I read fanfiction, what of it?

Congratulations on sex, Jon! You apparently knew some things!

Congratulations on sex, Jon! You apparently knew some things!

Beyond the wall, Jon is betraying his Night’s Watch oath in more ways than one. He’s revealing the active stations of the Watch and breaking some celibacy oaths with Ygritte. We also learn that there is not too much cunnilingus beyond the wall, or at least not that Ygritte’s list of conquests were aware of. Given that this was a long time coming, I was only too happy to see Jon Snow lose his V Card to Ygritte. And I was happy that he wasn’t a total noob in the sack.

Brienne and Jaime finally arrive at Harrenhal and are treated with a little more kindness than when with the travelling Boltons. Jaime is allowed to see some kind of physician and he and Brienne are able to clean themselves up a little. CUE TO THE SCENE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEASON. Now, maybe you can’t tell from my reviews, but Jaime Lannister is hands down my favorite character of the show. He and Brienne’s scenes are the best, he’s a strongly developed character, and I think I deserved this scene as a loyal fan not to mention it was included in the books so I knew it was coming. So I’m watching this scene, freaking out while eating my snack of gypsy peppers and dip, and when Brienne steps up from that bath, I legit dropped my pepper and freaked out.

I laughed way too hard at this caption. (from divers-wife @ tumblr)

I laughed way too hard at this caption.
(from divers-wife @ tumblr)

Not really because I was excited to see Gwendoline Christie’s naked rear end, more that I was excited for Jamie to see her naked front end. Then Jaime just tells her everything about his life and I freak out more. Basically by the end of this episode, I’m rolling in a puddle of feels (You can bet this episode is getting tagged with the tag feels). So Jaime tells her about Aerys’ Wildfire Plot and laments his titles of Kingslayer and Oathbreaker, which he obviously feels is unjust.

In King’s Landing a couple things go to shit. Littlefinger catches wind of Margaery’s plot to marry Loras to Sansa, and starts sowing some seeds to end this business so he can project his creepy love for Catelyn onto her daughter. Tyrion succeeds in saving the crown a bunch of money, except that Tywin finds out about the whole Loras and Sansa thing and he’s also not happy, so he plots to marry Loras to Cersei and Sansa to Tyrion. It’s kind of funny to watch Cersei all smug in the corner as Tyrion is receiving his bad news, and then to see her face fall when she hears she’s marrying Gay Loras.

I'm marrying WHO? Yup, no one in the Lannister family gets to be happy.

I’m marrying WHO? Yup, no one in the Lannister family gets to be happy.

Robb, you make bad decisions. YOU NEED HELP.

Robb, you make bad decisions. YOU NEED HELP.

Well, who called that Willem and Martyn’s heads would roll? I did. And that’s what happened in Riverrun. The Karstarks were angry and they went in an murdered two boys. In punishment for killing the children Robb has Rickard, the Lord, executed. Basically this ruins his plans, since obviously the Karstark bannermen are not going to follow Robb after they killed his lord. And there go half of your men. Should have listened to your mother and your wife, Robb. But of course, he has other plans. Plans to take Casterly Rock, though the only way that’s going to happen is if he asks help from Walder Frey. You remember Old Man Frey, or as we children of the 90’s know him as Mr Filch. He made Robb promise to marry one of his daughters in order for Robb to use a bridge. Yeah… That’s all I’m going to say on the subject. TT___TT

On the Dragonstone, we finally get a glimpse at Selyse Baratheon, Stannis’s wife, along with his daughter Shireen. Stannis goes to her to confess that he’s slept with Melisandre, but Selyse is fully aware and even promotes the idea. If you remember, Selyse is a firm follower of the Lord of Light and therefore approves of anything Melisandre chooses to do. She’s also insane. Yup. She’s the Governor of Woodbury, she’s got her stillborn babies in tanks. Meanwhile her living but scarred daughter is locked in a dungeon, and is really disappointed that her father has named Ser Davos as a traitor. It means nothing to her because she goes and sees him in the dungeons anyways, and reads to him. Awwwww.

Same, Daenerys. Same. (from divers-wife @ tumblr)

Same, Daenerys. Same.
(from divers-wife @ tumblr)

Leaving Astapor, Daenerys meets Grey Worm for the first time and it’s a bunch of emotions plus a lot of me staring at his pretty face. He’s the chosen leader of the Unsullied, and Daenerys basically has her moment with him. Meanwhile, Ser Barristan makes some not-so-subtle suggestions that Jorah doesn’t really need to be by Daenerys’s side and because of his banishment for selling slaves, he’s basically not “queen material”. Jorah scoffs and rides away, but remember Jorah, Barry has some incriminating evidence against you.

Oh, next week? More feels.

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